thirtysomething

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We took the tags off.

Heather and I want to thank everyone for their kind words of congratulations and encouragement. I’m sorry I have not responded to your emails, but rest assured they have been read and GREATLY appreciated.

This has been one of the longest 7 days of our lives. If you don’t have a clue, I’ll tell you what’s up. I’ve been waiting quite a while to write this one.

On Wednesday, November 5th, my beautiful wife of 13 years gave birth by c-section to a 6 pound 6 ounce red-headed baby boy. AND a 5 pound 12 ounce baby girl. As a good friend of mine said, “Two MORE blood suckas running around…” The day started off very relaxed. Heather and I had been up the night before watching election results and stayed up a bit too long. We were supposed to be at the hospital on the 5th at 7:30am to start an induction. I think we strolled in to Labor and Delivery about 8:30am. Never made it to the check-in desk. The first nurse we encountered knew EXACTLY who we were. I’m guessing they had been warned. Heather is notorious for being late and being late to the birth of her own children certainly was no exception.

After being shown to our birthing suite/room, Heather changed to the appropriate attire and thus began the induction. Bed positions, contraction monitor and fetal monitor connections, consent forms to be signed, IVs attached, nurse after nurse after doctor after nurse, Pitocin administered, then we WAIT.

And Wait.

And Wait.

A few hour later…

“So how are you feeling?”

“Not to bad. A little crampy, but that’s it.”

“No Pain??”

“Not really.

“You just had a few contractions. Are you sure no pain?”

“That’s what those were? I’ve been feeling that for a few weeks. Don’t tell my doctor! She’ll be mad she didn’t put me on bed rest weeks ago!” (Heather was at work until the Friday before)

And we Wait.

Pitocin levels raised to near max levels.

Wait.
Wait.

“Oooooo. I felt that one.”

So now my job is to tell her when the contractions peak. …Peak… …Peak… …Peak…etc.

Heather’s nurse comes in and asks how her pain is and suggests it is time for the epidural after seeing Heather’s reaction to a contraction and not being able to answer the pain question. Heather has a HUGE fear of needles and the epidural needle is no insulin syringe. Thankfully the anesthesiologist opened her kit BEHIND Heather’s back to quell the anxiety. Heather did Amazingly well with a knitting needle gauge hypo piercing her spine. She didn’t want any drugs just yet but wanted the epidural incase of emergency C-Section. She wanted to be awake.

About 5 o’clock Dr. Hamilton came in and checked Heather’s dilation. 7cm. Cool. Not long now. Let’s do a quick sonogram. Earlier the nurse had a hard time keeping Baby B on the heart monitor. She kept moving. Baby A was head down ready to open the door. Well, the sonogram revealed what Heather thought had happened. Baby B had turned transverse about 45 minutes before. The fear now was once Baby A came out Baby B would fall down into position, but feet first. Rather than do an emergency C-Section right after a vaginal delivery the theory was to do the whole thing as a C-Section. So I donned my Serial Killer outfit (I’ve seen too many episodes of CSI and Dexter), Heather got a lunchlady hair net/cap and we rolled out of the delivery room down the hall to the Labor-Delivery Operating Room (Or “theater”, for our British family…)

Heather was taken on into the OR while I waited in the Recovery Room until she was prepped. A nurse came (after what seemed hours) and ushered me to the OR where Heather was laying spread eagle on a table in the room. She was covered in blue draping with her arms out. A short blue screen was placed between her head and abdomen so she wouldn’t see the surgery part and freak out. I walked into a room FILLED with women dressed for different parts: two doctors (possibly three), one or two nurses assisting them, two nurses for each baby, one anesthesiologist, the nurse that walked me in, and a few other random nurses. I felt quite out numbered.

“Don’t touch anything blue.”

Ok.

“That’s the Baby A Team. Don’t touch them.”

Ok.

“That’s the Baby B Team. Don’t touch them.”

Ok.

“Those are the Doctors. I’m sure you recognize them. Don’t touch ‘em”

Ok.

“There’s your wife. Go sit by her head. You can touch her hand and head. Don’t touch the arm with the IV.”

Ok.

“Do you want to watch the procedure?”

No.

“You sure??”

Yeah. Not keen on watching my wife get cut open.

So, as Dr Hamilton and Team give my beautiful wife a tummy smile I sit patiently and nervously by my wife’s head and start to tear up. I grasp Heather’s hand and give it a little squeeze. I can’t believe this is actually happening.

About 2 years ago Heather and I decided that we really would like children. We’d been toying off and on with the possibility since Day One but always said “If it happens, it happens.” Well, after 11 years nothing happened. We were both about to hit the midpoint of our 30′s. Biological clocks and all that. One day Heather asked, “What do you think about fertility?” I really wasn’t all for it, but I said I’d give it a shot.

During all the blood tests, prodding, and poking Heather endured and putting my essence into a plastic cup to be examined under a microscope it was determined we technically could do it, but the odds were severely stacked against a good outcome. One of Heather’s numbers was too high. The possibilities were were Very low a pregnancy would take. We were determined to try. So we did.

Weeks of daily shots and pills later it was time to “harvest” the eggs. I took one for the team and spent some time getting friendly with another plastic cup. The eggs were then fertilized and inserted a few days later. We would know in about a week if Heather was pregnant.

What is it with Doctors and Waiting?? Personally, I don’t go to the doctor’s office. I go to the waiting room where doctors work.

Well, the week seemed like it would never end. Finally it did and another blood test was ordered. “We’ll call you later today.”

That afternoon Heather called me at work and gave me the news.

“Not Pregnant.”

To say the least, it was devastating. I knew right then and there that I definitely wanted a child. No more indifference. True finality. We talked with our fertility doctor about what happened and what our next routes should be. He really wanted us to do donor eggs, but we weren’t having it. Heather said she wanted to get “Real Aggressive” with the next round. Our doctor read about a new series of medications and protocols that might be more successful than the last attempt. Knowing that our odds were slim anyway (the docs said less than 5%) we had nothing to loose.

If I never have to see the inside of a “Male Donor Room” again, well, let’s just say I never touched anything but the plastic cup, my junk, and the sink.

After weeks and weeks of shots, acupuncture, positive encouragement from friends and family, plain old determination, and finally fertilization we were at the waiting period one more time.

The Waiting Week goes by. “We’ll call you this afternoon.”

I honestly don’t remember where I was when Heather called.

“WE’RE PREGNANT!!!!”

Oh Elation! (With a secret “I told you so” to the bookmaker and his “odds”)

The next trip to the fertility clinic you could see the look on everyone’s faces. They ALL knew who we were, and what had happened. You could hear them whispering as we walked by. “Did you know that Heather T is pregnant? NO! Really?? That’s a mira…” No one ever finished that statement if they knew we were close by, but we heard it none the less. Our doctor also told us we shouldn’t tell anyone considering fertility that they had worked magic. And to some degree I completely understand. Some couples spend fortunes trying to get pregnant with less than desirable results. But Let It Be Known: Heather is the record holder in getting pregnant with a particular score being incredibly high.

Sometime during the second trimester, Heather was told of an article on the reasons we had a difficult time getting pregnant. Our chances were greatly over-estimated. We actually had a less than ONE percent of achieving pregnancy.

Back to the Present

So I’m sitting by Heather’s head, holding her hand and all the past flashes through my brain. Less Than Once Percent. I almost lost it. Even now, thinking about that brings back the tears.

“Ok, here they come! David, if you want to look just stand up where you are. Don’t touch anything blue!”

Ok.

I stood up, and through tear filled eyes I saw my son being born into the world. Suction mouth, suction nose, crying baby. There are absolutely NO WORDS that can describe the first time you hear your child cry. NONE. WHAT. SO. EVER. The cord was clamped and cut (I didn’t cut because we were collecting cord blood to store in the unfortunate event it should ever be needed) and a nurse brought our son around the screen so Heather could see. Then he was whisked off to a warming bed to be cleaned up. I turned back and the doctor had my daughter’s legs in her hands and was pulling. Legs, torso, stuck… a little more pulling and pushing, shoulders, head, suction, Pause, baby crying. Yay!!!! Repeat post birth procedure.

“Ok Dad. Follow me and we’ll take you and the twins to the nursery while the doctors finish with your wife. If you want to look, they are now stitching up her uterus while it’s laying out on her stomach.”

Uh. Ok. I have to admit. I glanced. Very odd.

In the nursery we got weights and measurements and checks to make sure everything was where it should be properly located. Heather’s parents were right outside the fishbowl glass and watched the whole thing in awe. I felt like it was Christmas. Running back and forth from one baby to the other, not wanting to favor one over the other, but also not wanting to miss a thing.

Some time later (as you can imagine I lost complete track of all time) Heather was wheeled into the recovery room and the twins were brought in as well. Heather’s parents were already waiting on us. Breast-feeding “sort of” began and a new life for Heather and I started.

During the cord blood procedure, Heather lost a lot of blood. She needed two units the next day to bring her back up to speed. Due to the c-section and resulting anemia we stayed a total of four days in the hospital. Our daughter had to stay a fifth day because of a low resting heart rate, but that’s all good now.

Everyone is healthy now according to the pediatrician. The twin’s first visit was Tuesday.

Throughout the past week Heather’s parents have been in town to help out. I honestly don’t know what we would have done without them. Even though we don’t see eye to eye on a lot of things I GREATLY appreciate them being here. Especially once we were all home and needed nap breaks. My mother and her husband were here also and it goes without saying (from my point of view) their presence meant a lot to me. My dad wasn’t able to be here for the birth but he’ll be here shortly and I can’t wait! Wonder if after 35 years he remembers how to change a diaper.

It’s one thing to experience this great joy with my wife, but it means so much more to share it with my extended family. And yes, that includes You.

Thanks again for everyone’s support and friendship. I hope you’ll understand if the blog isn’t updated with words & stories on a regular basis for the next few weeks. Not that I’ve been updating lately anyway, but I’ve been sort of busy. I hope to keep you up to date at least with pictures, here and on FLICKR.

I’m going to try and catch a few Z’s right now.